I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
