I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize