Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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