his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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