Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
