Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
