i just wanna soil my oats bro
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
