were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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