Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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