1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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