Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
