My brain says no but my pants say off.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
