I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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