remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Buhtt sex?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
