Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
