Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
