chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
