first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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