it wasn't lemon gatorade
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
a search helicopter?!
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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