If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
false alarm. still invincible.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
