reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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