3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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