Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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