did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
it's not cheating when I paid for it
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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