he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
