I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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