she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
