my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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