i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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