I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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