Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
