my mouth tastes like poor choices
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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