do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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