O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
