Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
is wine microwaveable?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
