He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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