If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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