He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
