it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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