He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
