so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
handjob tips. give me some.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My bed smells like the plague
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
