I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
