He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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