You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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