this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
