she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
