Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
