I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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