Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
