I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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