So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
