youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
