My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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