Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
