You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
