handjob tips. give me some.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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