It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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