You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
