so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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