You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
