thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
