Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
