Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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