Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
