So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
