i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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