My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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