Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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