we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize