I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
