u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
