i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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