she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
