I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Actions speak louder than pants.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You pole danced in your parka.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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