i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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